Monday, August 1, 2011

Burn Bras, Not Books

YO, YO! Spuds has got something to say (and yeeeahhh, he wishes he ate fried chicken today, get it?! like a joke on the misfits song?! Spuds always keeps it positive except when it comes to STD tests, fyi). Yeah, what he has to say, with a certain air of authority and know-how that only he can project, is that standardized tests stifle his creative puppy power. What the woof?! 


Spuds prides himself on being a renegade within the constraints of certain institutions, universities in particular, because that's where the Magic Johnson happens. One time, while leading a pack of potential students through Greenwich Village, Jared Leto (nee Jordan Catalano from the bang-on e90s MTV sitcom, "My So Called Life") interrupted Spuds's tour and advised puppies in their formative years to "burn their books." Spuds, always equipped with some broader context, reminded students that Jordan couldn't read so his implicit assumptions, vague definitions, and lack of supporting evidence rendered his claim merely a dubious opinion. (Which later proved to be a spot-on observation as clearly demonstrated by the embarrassing pseudo-intellectual attempts to stimulate brain waves with sub-par lyrics and riffs in  the so-called band "30 Seconds to Mars".)  Ahhh, but Spuds was indeed mesmorized by those piercing blue eyes and dark hair, like a blue eyed Kipper (or whatever those attractive, yet annoyingly loud little canines are called). 


Anyway, Spuds went on to receive university-level recognition for his shin-high vantage on stuff, and he vomited after eating some grass out front on the notion that those tests dissuaded him from realizing what a cunning dawg he was. And, perhaps the most important realization of them all and the real point he is trying it express, is that in order to appreciate the full repetiore of his joke power, all mating partners gots to appreciate the degree. (And that's regardless of pedigree, so put away those AKC papers.) 



Paw slap for pedantry.



Woof, woof.

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